My belief in the sacredness of the bonds of sisterhood among females is no secret. We all know that I believe quality friendships make life so rich. As a woman who has friendships that span over 3 decades, I feel I am versed enough on the subject to help women build cords of friendship that will enrich and empower their lives. I have concluded that one of the main reasons why females have so much trouble in making and/or maintaining friendships is because they have not befriended themselves. The one person that you are guaranteed to be with for the rest of your life is YOU. So, if you don’t enjoy being with yourself, how can you expect another woman to enjoy being with you?
Everything in your life begins and ends with you. Most of us, go into friendships with an unrealistic and selfish perception. People don’t look at others and think, “what can I do to make her life better?’ It’s human nature to be self driven and self focused, that is why we teach our children to share and be kind to others, selfishness is innate but selflessness is taught. Understand, I am not saying that your friendship should be all about your gal pal, that isn’t balance. A true friendship is one that serves both women better. Life can be tricky and at times just a roller coaster ride of nothing but loops and drops, in those moments, you need someone who is willing to ride with you through it all. When I was in my mid twenties, diagnosed with PCOS and Endometriosis, trying to get pregnant and couldn’t, was a horrific time in my life. To have a doctor tell you that your window of fertility, if you ever had one, more than likely closed when you were an old teenager, is one of the most devastating things anyone young woman can be told. I was distraught and hopeless, but I had a Best Friend.
I remember sitting on Claresia’s couch(My Best Friend) crying my eyes out and feeling like less than a woman and more than worthless. While I already had a child(explain that later), I knew that the probability of me having anymore was gone. My Best Friend who absolutely doesn’t enjoy being pregnant said something to me that I will never forget, she said, “if you want a baby, I will have one for you.” To say I was speechless is inadequate but more than that I was so humbled. The fact that she was willing to do something so life changing for me was astonishing. For her to yield her body in order to help me live my heart’s desire was the personification of unconditional love and friendship. While she never had that baby for me, to this day, we still talk about her decision to do something so monumental for me.
What I share with Claresia is what I want all girls and women to share. We have been friends since we were 11 years old, she is one of the longest relationship that I have ever had and she is truly my soul mate. Yes, your soul mate can be a friend, it’s not always a lover. Claresia matches me in every way, we are different and similar, the synergy that exists between us is sacred. Not only do I have Claresia, I have Ayana and man has she changed my life in a major way, I will share our story in another post. I believe that women are capable of creating friendships that last a lifetime and I also believe that there are some friendships that are seasonal, everybody has a purpose and a role. The point is to find your Tribe of Sisterhood and dwell in its sacred serenity.